Thursday, March 17, 2011

Leaving Tokyo

A little over 2 hours ago I packed a suitcase, filled my satchel with some emergency items, a bottle of water and a good book, grabbed my camera bag and took what I hope was not the last look around the tiny little apartment that has become my home here in Tokyo.

As I mentioned in my last post, I have not given up on Japan. I hope... No, I believe the situation with the nuclear reactors in Fukushima will be contained soon but... For the time being I've decided a short holiday to Osaka might be for the best.

It's a terrible thing waking up to your mother's tears. All she has done is listen to media fear mongering and it has made her very very afraid.

So, for my family's peace-of-mind, as well as my own, I'm heading down south. I only intend to be gone for a couple of days but... With all my mother's fears and my father's worries I couldn't help feel that maybe, as I packed my bags and walked out the door, this might be my last night in Tokyo. I might never see my home again.

It's a devastating feeling. So much so that if I think on it too long I'm afraid it will cripple me completely.

However, please don't think that I have stopped being positive. Far from it. I believe that Japan will recover from this. WE will recover from this. I think I've just let the feelings of others get to me. These are difficult times full of complex and difficult emotions. I would never have thought it possible to feel hope, despair, determination and anxiety all at the same time but apparently you can. I'm feeling them all right now.

I hope to see my home again, I really do. No. Strike that. I will see my home again. I am determined not to leave so much behind - and I'm not talking about my stuff.


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