Yesterday was yet another wonderful day in Tokyo. A mini typhoon had blown in and was trying it's hardest to be upgraded to a full scale event. Umbrellas were being blown inside out and people were getting drenched no matter what they did to stay dry. Even the people INSIDE were getting wet! And what did the people of my town do to raise their falling spirits? They played the cheesiest, most sickeningly sweet music in the street they could find. Yesterday as I walked home it was the symphonic version of "The Never Ending Story" followed by a musical rendition of Disney's classic "It's a small world". JOY of mother fucking, teeth grinding, humming despite yourself, JOYS!
And of course the weirdness for the week doesn't stop there. The day before, I was actively stared at. I know what you are thinking... How can anyone actively stare? Before yesterday I would have thought the same thing but trust me, it's possible. Ok, so being a stranger in a strange land I'm no stranger to being stared at (don’t you just love the clever repetition and alliteration) but yesterday was something else entirely.
On the train on the way home I moved over, being the gentleman that I am, to make room for an old lady that needed the seat. At first I don't think she noticed I was a foreigner. People have a tendency to look through each other on the trains. We are “other” people. We don’t actually exist in each others lives, we’re merely bodies packed into a confined space.
What got the old lady’s attention at first was the book I was reading. It was clearly written in English (of course) and had a bright pink cover. This is unusual in itself as most Japanese opt to cover their books with dull brown paper jacket covers. I’m not really sure why to be honest. The only legitimate reason I can think of is to disguise the fact that you are reading porn and, unless there’s some really horny grandmas out there, I don’t think that’s it.
In any case the grandma next to me slowly turned her eyes from the book up to my face and that’s where they stayed. Now, I don’t know, maybe I’m underestimating grandmas. Maybe she was just one horny old woman looking for a ride, but this really freaked me out! It wasn’t just that she was glaring at me with her eyes though – this was a whole neck and head experience!! I could feel her breath on my neck as I tried to read, not that I actually got much reading done. By that stage the book had become a prop, something to look at while I actively ignored being actively stared at. Had I turned my head we’d have been nose to nose or, more accurately (considering the height difference) chin to forehead.
I’ve never been as happy to step off a train into gale force winds in my life!
And what was the music playing in the street as I walked home?
Sting, “I’ll be watching you”.
No, only kidding, but it would have ended my day on a laugh.
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